Why What How and If questions

Following on from our blog ‘Understanding compromise or co-operation’, we’ve identified these key communication principles which we believe are important to communication & negotiation success. Turn off the internal chatter Direct your internal conversations from negative to positive Your visual attention helps you to listen & silences the internal conversation Firstly look directly at the person then focus on your peripheral vision A problem is the symptom of an unmet need Once you have stacked up all the individual needs then say “let’s look at the collective needs”

Don’t stop at the finishing point “So what else could we do?” Communication 7% words 38% vocal variation 55% non-verbal visual When on the phone match speed & tone Only ever ask why, what, how & if questions. PAST PRESENT FUTURE Identify where those positions are Match your gestures to the eyes Place the issue in the past then create a resolution in the future BE IN 3RD POSITION….SIT UP IN THE HELICOPTER Responses for Preventing Dispute & Creating Rapport: Accept Paraphrase Acknowledge Repeat Clarify Confirm Reframe Express Gratitude Validate Affirm Agree Ask Permission Expand Compliment Congratulate Link It’s amazing how more effective communication can be if you consciously practice by focusing communication around those three (3) simple words why, what & how. Start the process, focus and create lasting habits. This year, try to ask only WHY, WHAT, HOW (& IF) questions and see what the outcomes are. All the best!

Written by Richard Groom, principlefocus NSW